


I'll Keep My Promise

by MoustachedPanda



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Final Fantasy XIV Spoilers, Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward Spoilers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Post-Haurchefant Death, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24047575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoustachedPanda/pseuds/MoustachedPanda
Summary: Fazo’a was alive and breathing only for the fact that Haurchefant was not. Haurchefant had given the ultimate sacrifice for Fazo’a to continue living, and Fazo’a had come to promise himself that he would not put that sacrifice to waste. His promise to himself, and his promise to Haurchefant.
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Fazo'a Jolha, Haurchefant Greystone/Player Character, Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light
Kudos: 3





	I'll Keep My Promise

**Author's Note:**

> TW mentioned suicidal thoughts. Nothing overtly intense but if that is something that makes you uncomfortable, please don't continue on with reading!
> 
> So over quarantine I haven't been able to get money to play FFXIV, and I started feeling really emotional about my miqo'te boy, Fazo'a, because I miss him. This takes place right after the attack on the vault in Heavensward, and Haurchefant's death. I hope you all enjoy this, it's full of emotions and I'm pretty damn proud of how it turned out.

“A smile better suits a hero…”

Those words. Those _damned_ words

It was now a nightly routine for Fazo’a. Go to bed in the Fortemps manor, sleep on-and-off in utter hopelessness, wake up around the third bell of the morning drenched in sweat and with the vision of the Vault fresh in his mind again. Haurchefant Greystone was a nonstop presence in Fazo’a Jolha’s mind, and the memory of the Elezen man’s sacrifice was a plague on Fazo’a’s sanity.

Fazo’a was thankful. Beyond thankful even, he would ensure. Fazo’a was alive and breathing only for the fact that Haurchefant was _not_. Haurchefant had given the ultimate sacrifice for Fazo’a to continue living, and Fazo’a had come to promise himself that he would not put that sacrifice to waste.. His promise to himself, and his promise to Haurchefant.

Before Fazo’a had committed to his promise, life was overwhelmingly difficult. The first several nights after the Elezen’s death had been _Hell_ on Fazo’a’s wellbeing. More than anything, Fazo’a wanted to see the man. To revel in his smile, and to be held in the strong arms he so adored.

Fazo’a had spent the days after Haurchefant’s sacrifice simply milling about wordlessly, an expression that couldn’t quite be placed as hopeless or sad or angry on his face. He had simply _existed_ after Haurchefant’s death, and even the prospect of continuing on with that act had been so difficult that Fazo’a had stayed up late several nights and considered tossing it all away. If he was gone, he wouldn’t have to worry about the Warrior of Light business anymore. He wouldn’t have to have what felt like the weight from all of Eorzea pushing him to succeed. He would be able to see Haurchefant again.

But Alphinaud had been there. The entire time, the young Elezen had checked up on Fazo’a, and always made sure he was getting the rest and time to recover that he needed.

Alphinaud hadn’t said a word about Haurchefant, likely wanting to spare Fazo’a the pain. His kindness had given Fazo’a the chance to stay in the slightest bit rational, and had helped him form his promise to Haurchefant.

_“I won’t give up this chance that you’ve given me. You gave me my second chance, a second life… and it’s not my life to waste.”_

Fazo’a had uttered those words to the cold air of Ishgard’s early morning as he stared at the moon in the sky. He felt his resolve strengthen once again, ever-so-slightly, for the first time since the attack on the Vault.

The relationship between the steward of Camp Dragon Head and the Warrior of Light had been secret from all but the individuals themselves. After all, what would people say about the Hero of Eorzea slacking off to deal in romance rather than focusing on the Primal threat? And what would Ishgardians say about the son of one of their most noble families bedding an outsider, and a _man_ at that?

So the love between the two was kept under wraps. Whenever the Warrior of Light found a free moment, he could be found in Camp Dragonhead, locked in some way or another with the son of Fortemps behind closed doors. Fazo’a had fallen for the man _so_ easily - his kind words and demeanor were almost like a drug for the Miqo’te. After so much hate, so much adversity and pain caused by others, Fazo’a had finally found someone outside of the Scions who was willing to offer their kindness - their _friendship_ \- and Fazo’a had felt a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.

The friendship that led to love had sprouted quickly. Haurchefant was ever fast to allow Fazo’a a place at his abode’s hearth to escape the cold air outside. He was constantly willing to spend time with Fazo’a when the Warrior needed a break from his world-saving. Fazo’a was a welcome presence in Haurchefant’s life as well, offering a friend with exciting tales and enjoyment in the shared space of two. Ever so slightly, the relationship had grown further; A touch that lasted a second too long, eyes lingering in a way that was alien to the two. The occasions of endearment consistently kept growing. A worried grab of the shoulder became a grab of the arm, and everything went onwards from there. Words spoken quietly with downcast eyes and the biting of lips before two beings met in an embrace.

A shy and gentle kiss in the hallway outside of Haurchefant’s quarters.

Neediness in each other’s eyes as a tiring battle ended.

Warm bodies melting together in ways that felt _right_.

A dreary kiss to the forehead, cheek, neck, then lips in the somber sunlight of the next cold morning.

Fazo’a missed him. Fazo’a missed Haurchefant more than anything and every day without him _hurt_. But Fazo’a couldn’t end it. He had thought of Haurchefant’s face and felt any idea of ending everything crumble into tiny pieces. He couldn’t throw away the life that Haurchefant had given him, and he knew how hurt Haurchefant would have been if Fazo’a had passed on. The miqo’te couldn’t betray the love that Haurchefant had put into him.

As Fazo’a lay in a bed in the Fortemps manor, a knock on the door pulled him out of his own mind. Rising quickly, he rubbed his heterochromatic eyes and tried to hide any evidence of his exhaustion. He took a deep breath and let it out through his nose before striding to his door, where another soft knock sounded out. Fazo’a pulled the door open and looked down slightly to see the head of a small Elezen. 

Alphinaud glanced up and frowned at Fazo’a with curious eyes and a raised brow. “You’re still up.”

“... I know I can’t lie to you and say your knock woke me.”

Alphinaud chuckled quietly and clasped his hands in front of him, eyes flicking to the room behind Fazo’a. “Might I come in? I… would like to talk with you. If you don’t mind.”

Fazo’a hesitated before nodding slightly and moving to the side, allowing Alphinaud to enter. The boy gave Fazo’a a warm smile before striding into the room and taking up a spot on a chair in the corner.

It was hard sometimes for Fazo’a to remember that Alphinaud was only sixteen. He acted so maturely, and he was a natural-born leader, even if he denied it consistently. Yet he wore his heart on his sleeve, and although Fazo’a wouldn’t admit it, the miqo’te felt as if he had to do everything in his power to protect the young man. Another reason not to throw away Haurchefant’s gift.

Fazo’a closed the door and walked back into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So… what did you want to talk about?”

Alphinaud frowned as his eyes flicked up to meet Fazo’a’s. He sighed before leaning forward and giving Fazo’a an inquisitive look.

“You haven’t been sleeping. And not just this evening, I mean.”

Fazo’a sighed and nodded slowly. “You’re not wrong,” he muttered eventually, forcing himself to meet Alphinaud’s curious gaze head-on.

Alphinaud gave the man a sad look. He took a quick breath in preparation of his next words. Alphinaud uttered the words quietly and turned his head to avoid Fazo’a’s face.

“... Lord Haurchefant. That’s why, I assume?”

Fazo’a felt his breath catch, and he slowly exhaled. Of course it was Haurchefant. How could it be anything else? And yet, Fazo’a knew Alphinaud only had good intentions. He had given him this much time to grieve, at the very least, which was more than anyone else had done.

Fazo’a turned his own head to the side, not knowing if he could face Alphinaud’s piercing eyes if the boy decided to turn back towards him. “... Yes. Haurchefant.”

Fazo’a heard Alphinaud shift before letting out a breath through his nose. He wasn’t speaking. He likely wanted to let Fazo’a decide how this conversation would go.

If Fazo’a wanted, he could tell Alphinaud to get up and leave right at that moment, and he likely would. And yet, Fazo’a knew he needed to face this. He knew he needed to tell someone why Haurchefant’s death had plagued him so _heavily_.

The miqo’te continued to stare at the wall of the room as he slowly opened his mouth, letting words he thought would never be spoken fall from his lips.

“... I loved him. Alphinaud, I _loved_ him. And he gave his life up to save mine.”

Alphinaud sighed sadly. Fazo’a heard as the boy stood and walked forward, and felt as he reached out to rest a hand gently on Fazo’a’s shoulder. Fazo’a met his eyes again and felt every part of his composure strain against itself, standing on the edge of breaking at any moment. Fazo’a pulled in a shaky breath before speaking again, and forced his eyes not to waver away from Alphinaud’s face.

“... It feels like I killed my first love. His blood is on my hands, Alphinaud. I _killed_ Haurchefant Greystone, and he’s dead because of my actions.”

Alphinaud shook his head quickly, eyes boring into Fazo’a’s. How could he manage to be so serious? How was he able to face the Warrior of Light, hero of Eorzea, droning on about _love_? Fazo’a needed to defeat Primals and protect everyone, not deal in romance. So how could Alphinaud stare at Fazo’a with so much understanding in his eyes?

“That is not the truth at all. Lord Haurchefant gave his life protecting yours. It was his choice, Fazo’a.”

When Fazo’a didn’t respond to his words, Alphinaud gently let go of his shoulder. Fazo’a stared at the Elezen boy in awe as he opened his mouth to speak again, still keeping his eyes trained on Fazo’a’s own.

“... If you had taken a fatal hit for Lord Haurchefant, would you believe that he himself had killed you?”

Fazo’a looked away and shook his head quickly. “... Of course not.”

Fazo’a would have thrown away his life to protect Haurchefant in a heartbeat, and he would have done so with pride. He had never been so definite about anything in his entire life.

“Then why do you believe that yourself? Lord Haurchefant may not be with us anymore, but it was obvious for anyone to see that you meant a great deal to him. He would never want you to feel that his actions were your fault, or responsibility.”

Fazo’a felt his expression change, get caught in a web of despair, felt as his eyebrows knit together tightly. Fazo’a Jolha, the Warrior of Light, was weak. His brain screamed that fact, over and over. Fazo’a Jolha is weak. Fazo’a Jolha got attached to one person, and that person’s passing was bringing him so far down that he could barely function.

“... I’m sorry, Fazo’a. I’m sorry that you lost him.”

Alphinaud’s voice sounded so sorry, so _pitiful_ , and Fazo’a felt the dam behind his eyes strain under the pressure. He bit his lip before burying his face in his left hand.

Alphinaud stayed quiet as he watched Fazo’a face the words, and eventually Fazo’a felt the dam break. Through his bit lip fell a sob, and Fazo’a felt tears flow from his eyes for the first time since the incident. He heaved deep breaths in, then sobbed as every emotion in his body screamed for release. How had he held it in for so long? Fazo’a gasped for air before wailing into his hand again, his brain thanking Alphinaud for the chance to let it all out.

Fazo’a felt a small hand gently settle on his shoulder, and let out another pained sob. Haurchefant was dead. Fazo’a knew this, more deeply than anyone could ever know. And yet, Alphinaud now knew. Alphinaud was there, and Fazo’a finally felt the release he needed. He wasn’t alone in his pain.

Fazo’a wasn’t sure how much time had passed before his tears lessened and he was able to wipe his eyes. He turned his gaze back to Alphinaud, eyes red, and gave him a weak smile. The young Elezen smiled brightly before patting Fazo’a’s shoulder.

“You’re not on your own, Fazo’a. I’m here with you, and intend to be for a long-time coming.”

Fazo’a laughed slightly, throat rasping, but nodded.

“Thank you. I…” he rubbed at his eyes again before sucking in a deep breath. “I appreciate you, Alphinaud.”

As the Warrior of Light faced himself alongside another for the first time, it was clear that recovery would be possible. Fazo’a felt like he could feel Haurchefant smiling towards him, and finally felt peace within himself.


End file.
